My Dad and the journey to find my lost Christmas spirit

Where to begin?

The picture above was taken by myself. My Mum doesn't like it. She always says " He looks sick." He was, that was the reality. What I see when I look at it is the way he always looked at me, with Love.

I lost my Dad on January 3rd, 1992. The last time I heard his voice was on New Years day. He sounded so weak and eerily like my grandmother, his mother. Last words from him to me were " I love you too Dear." I am so grateful we shared that.

For every year since, until recent, I have had a very difficult time at Christmas. I have held feelings of sadness, loss and sometimes even anger. I felt robbed in many ways. My dad wasn't there to walk me down the aisle, be a part of  his grand children's lives, enjoy them and teach them life lessons or be there to be a part of Family Christmas time. I tried very hard each Christmas to not let my sadness effect our children but my spirit was not in it.

Last year, finally after 26 years, I spent  Christmas at home in Newfoundland with my Mum. I vowed to make it a Christmas to remember and Mum and I enjoyed every minute together.  I placed wreaths that I made at Dad's grave on Christmas Eve morning, had a little chat with Dad and a silent prayer, somehow it provided me with the healing I needed. Later that evening the Christmas Eve service at my old Church provided me with a comfort within as Mum sat by my side.

This year my goal is to celebrate Christmas the way Dad would have enjoyed it with us, with family, lots of good food, drink and many, many laughs. My Dad loved to make people laugh. My Christmas spirit has been restored! And in the words of my Dad's favorite Christmas tune by Burl Ives...

                                              HAVE A HOLLY JOLLY CHRISTMAS!

 

Autumn...My favorite time of the year.

I have always loved the fall season. It is the season, for me, that comforts the soul. From the visual beauty Mother Nature shows us with her wide array of colours on the trees to the fresh foods provided from the harvest season. Today Tom and I have begun a road trip that we hope will provide us with all those comforts and day 1 has been an amazing start! From the panoramic colours along the drive, an amazing sunrise just outside Kingston, Ontario to the beautiful sunset in Riviere du Loup, Quebec.

Driving from Milton, Ontario across the TCH to Cape Breton, Nova Scotia with a return trip through the US with a stop over in Bar Harbour, Maine. The senses will be overloaded with the beauty of the colours, the delicious foods we will enjoy,Thanksgiving with Tom's Grandmother and Lobster I am sure somewhere along the route, it is Atlantic Canada after all! :) We are also thrilled to be able to take in the traditional music of the area as we attend 2 of the concerts that are part of the Celtic Colours festival. Growing up in Newfoundland myself and Tom's family being from Cape Breton, fiddle music is a part of who we are. Keep an eye out for our daily Favorite Pic of the day!

Our 20th Anniversary

There we were, 20 years ago today, vows freshly said, witnessed by a small group of our family and closest friends in a small Chapel at The Old Mill, Toronto.

The date September 11th holds a heavy cloud over it today due to the events of that day 8 years after our special day. 9/11 has, in a way, made me feel guilty to celebrate knowing others suffered. I feel 20 years however deserves at least a small mention.

The day was perfect in every way, everything went as planned. The weather co-operated even to the point of offering that little bit of "Rain for Good Luck" towards the end of the evening.

Looking back at that day I can still remember the inner peace I felt. I knew in Tom I was marrying the man who would always love me as deeply as I have him. We share a deep love and absolute respect for one another.

I would never declare our marriage to be perfect, no marriage is. We have like all couples had our share of trials and tribulations, like the Twin Towers,  we've had our fall and risen again, stronger for it! We have been blessed in many ways over the years too, our 3 beautiful children of course being the greatest of those blessings.

Today we say "Happy Anniversary" to each other, grateful for all that life has given us!